"So why would I want to work with you Kate? What would I get out of it?"

If I was a good Sales person or Marketer I’d have the answer to this sewn up!!

But I’m not, and I clearly don’t.

In fact, this question still sends me into stress response mode; ‘fight’, ‘flight’ or in my case usually ‘freeze’ – picture a rabbit in headlights and that’s pretty much what I look like when I get asked that question. Ground swallow me up please…!

So, eeeeeeek, it’s time to push myself outside of my comfort zone again and try to articulate concisely (yes, I know I’m not particularly skilled at that bit either ;-)) why anyone, who doesn’t already know me well, would want to work with me and what’s in it for them as obviously that’s the crux of whether they invest in me or not.

Some elements of coaching have probably always been a large part of who I am. I love nothing more than having a good ol’ deep and meaningful with pretty much anyone who will let me!

I love understanding people at a deeper level, what makes them tick, what’s getting them down and why. And unsurprisingly I’m useless at shallow superficial relationships and small talk – eurgh, get me out of here! I used to mask this well by drinking rather a lot at social events (less said there the better ;-))

Now, excitingly, my naturally nosey, I mean ‘deep and curious’, personality style is backed up with lots of tools, exercises and scientific theory enabling me to actually help people make a difference in their own lives once I’ve elicited all this lovely information out of them.

The phrase ‘helping people’ feels a bit yuck to me though if I’m honest, as, it could just be my perspective but, there’s almost this indirectly implied connotation of the one facilitating the help being superior in some way and I’m definitely anything but superior!! Trust me, I’m well aware of my flaws and today Sales, Marketing, writing a concise blog and staying aware from the Marmite pot are high up on the list!! So by ‘helping’ I certainly don’t mean I tell people what to do. Far from it. They decide, but I hold them to account to ensure they make progress towards their overall goals. (More on how they decide on those action points in a minute…)

So at the moment I’m finding I’m currently only coaching friends, who know my personality and that this is the perfect job for me to be doing, or people that have been referred to me by friends (e.g. my friends have done that sales job for me ;-) very handy!)

So what is my unique skill that friends can see in me but I find hard to articulate when asked the direct question?

Well, there’s the basic fundamental things; I’m trustworthy, approachable, genuine but most importantly I’m non-judgemental so any fears of how what you might end up saying might be perceived can be firmly left elsewhere.

Combined with my ability to understand and really hear what people are saying on different levels as well as deeply caring about the true happiness of the people I’m talking to.

But I guess my key skill, and what makes me a damn good coach rather than just a good friend, is that I continually ask questions until I see my clients’ have a ‘light-bulb moment’.

By this I mean that they gain an understanding of what has been happening to stop them achieving what it is they want to be achieving. They can finally see what has been blocking them, usually for their entire lives.

We then go from there to figure out exactly what it is they need to be doing or approaching differently in order to have the life they want, again by me asking questions, never ‘giving advice’ a.k.a. 'telling you how to live your life' as that never works in any situation! 

Everyone is so uniquely different, they have to approach every situation in their own life their own way, but sometimes figuring out what ‘that way’ is is the hardest part which is where I come in with all my squillion questions.

As an aside, if the thought of all these questions I keep talking about sounds exhausting, or like a really intense interview, it’s honestly not, I promise you. The majority of all conversations, even those with a 3 year old I’m now discovering (“but why Mummy?”), are based around questions so it feels completely normal and natural.

In terms of the “What would I get out of working with you Kate?” question, I find this even more difficult to articulate (uh-oh, here we go again) and be specific about as everyone has very different situations they are struggling with, or they might just know they could be so much happier but don’t know what’s bothering them.

It’s not until I start asking questions (yes, those again) that we get to the real nub of the problem.

  • For example, it could be that you’re totally overwhelmed by all the different roles you’re playing in your life right now (Mum, wife, employee, manager, friend, daughter, sister) and feel like you’re failing at them all…

  • Or maybe you’re mega successful at work but your weight and finances are out of control…

  • Or you could be the opposite, really in control of your health and finances but wondering why you’re unable to progress at work…

  • Or maybe there’s a repetitive cycle with all your relationships ending the same way but you’re not sure why that keeps happening or what you could do differently…

  • Or maybe you’re so lost with which career direction to focus on that you no longer trust yourself to make a decision in terms of which one to follow up on…

People come to me for a whole host of reasons, but always get more than just the one positive outcome as a result of working with me.

Yes, we’ll always get to the bottom of the original situation that was bothering them. But the interesting, and extremely rewarding, part is seeing the knock on positive impact this has on other areas of my clients’ lives; how they’ve come to me to get clarity on their career direction but a secondary benefit, which actually gives them immense joy, is the deeper relationships with their friends and flourishing relationship with their partner they’re now experiencing as a result of understanding themselves so much better, alleviating them from second guessing everything they think and say and massively increased confidence as a result.

Every element of every person life is interlinked so you can’t fail to improve almost all areas by positively focusing on one specific area.

So to sum allllllll of that up:

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO WORK WITH ME AND WHAT WILL YOU GET OUT OF IT?

I’m a very real, genuine person, who won’t judge you but will ask a lot of questions to get to the crux of whatever is stopping you from living the life you want to be living and will get you taking action towards living your ideal life.

So......

If you’ve been toying with the idea of exploring something in your life that’s bugging you, with someone who’s qualified to ask you the right questions and set you the right exercises to get you moving in the right direction to solve that problem then...

I’m offering a massive discount for anyone who signs up to start working with me by 5pm (GMT) on 30th April 2018.

My usual rates for my 13 session programme are £1,800 (roughly £138 a session. Most sessions last roughly 90 minutes, every 2 weeks, via Skype).

My usual discounted rate for my 13 session programme is £1,200 (roughly £92 a session)

However I’m going full-on ‘Mates Rates and below’ for anyone who signs up before 5pm (GMT) on 30th April 2018 of £50 a session with a free goal-setting trial session thrown in at the start and the ability to pick and choose the sessions you want to cover!!

Payable in installments to suit you.

I’ll be totally transparent with you as to why I’m going out there with a massive discount.

There are two reasons, one is that I set myself a goal of coaching a certain amount of people in 2018 but hadn’t factored giving birth in mid-October into that equation (what kind of coach would I be if I didn’t hold myself accountable for my own goals?!) and the other is that I bloody LOVE coaching and would much rather increase the amount of time I spend doing what I love regardless of the income I make.

So please do contact me if you’re interested. I look forward to hearing from you!!

Kate xxx

Why I nearly gave up on my business a few days after finding out I was pregnant...

Have you ever really wanted something but when it happens you’re not prepared for the ream of extra emotions that suddenly hit you?

This was me a few weeks ago.

I’d always wanted two children, ideally pretty close together so they’d be buddies (wishful thinking re the buddies part, I know!). We’d even bought a specific pram that we could add the fixtures for a second child too when we bought our first pram! Rather organised for me…

However, life had other plans and when my first son was 10 months old I got a condition called Guillain Barre Syndrome. This involved me going from being a fit, active new Mum to a quadriplegic in the space of 3 days. I was subsequently hospitalised for 3 months and had to re-learn to walk, to grip things etc…

Fast forward to my son being nearly 3 years old and me finally being physically and mentally able to conceive our second child. Weirdly, any concerns about whether my first pregnancy might have caused the Guillain Barre, getting it again or having to go through the hospital experience again weren’t what hit me when I found out I was pregnant.

You see I’d always known I would recover from the Guillain Barre so that was what I had focused on during my time in hospital.

The harder bit for me came after I left hospital. It was when I was at home again, able to walk, looking relatively normal… But not actually physically able to make it through full days without having to go back to bed, not able to care for my son on my own for fear of the fatigue would floor me as it often did, being told how amazingly well I’d done but feeling like a total fraud as I was living just a fraction of my former life and had absolutely no idea how long this was going to go on for, if it could be forever…?

This was when the Reactive Depression started to take hold. When the thoughts of suicide and how I could go about ending my life began. Mixed with the gut-wrenching guilt of how much I loved my little family and knowing I was ‘wrong’ to be thinking these thoughts but not able to stop them from coming. Our minds are so far from logical when we're in that state that it's impossible to rationalise these thoughts now. This is what I believe creates the stigma; why it's so hard to talk about it and why it's equally as difficult for people who haven't experienced a mental illness to genuinely understand.

However, these were the memories that came flooding back to me soon after finding out I was pregnant.

What happened in both situations was I lost my ability to believe in myself.

During the 20 months of fatigue and subsequent reactive depression I lost my ability to focus on getting my full life back. It was such a hard slog that I let doubt start to creep in; maybe I should start to accept this was going to be my life now, full of chronic pain and fatigue, many people I know live with far worse. I should be grateful for what I had… but I wasn’t.

And then during those first few weeks of my second pregnancy the tiredness came back. I’ll highlight this as tiredness, not fatigue, as there is a significant difference, but it felt familiar enough to scare me and bring back memories. Add to that hormonal emotions of not really wanting to put myself out there to promote my business; be that via social media, for fear of rejection, or face-to-face in networking groups. The emotions also led to me feeling quite vulnerable, wanting to protect myself and my new forming baby and generally wanting to hide from the world a bit.

So again, I started to lose my belief in my ability to run my business and grow a baby inside me at the same time and scarily the thoughts and feelings my mind started to create once I’d allowed myself to think that belief, although they weren’t suicidal this time fortunately, were very familiar and similar to those I’d had on the slippery slope down to the reactive depression.

‘I can’t do this’

‘I’m not good enough’

‘Other people might be amazing successes but I’m not cut out for this’

‘I haven’t got it in me’

Fortunately I’m out the other side of both the Reactive Depression (I took the meds, please don’t ever worry for a minute about taking medication for depression if you’re in a suicidal place, it is genuinely what saved me) and I’ve kicked the self-doubt around my business into touch (yes, approaching 2nd trimester no doubt helps too!).

The message I want to share with you is just how important our minds, and the thoughts and beliefs they are creating are, to absolutely everything we do in life!

Whether negative or positive, what we BELIEVE underpins everything we do, every action we take and the outcomes we get as a result of that belief.

This is why for me, the Reactive Depression was far worse than the seemingly traumatic experience of Guillain Barre Syndrome. When I’ve lost my ability to believe in myself and think positively about my future is when I have found myself in the most trouble.

My desire is to guide others through a transformation process to save them from living their lives feeling stuck, lost or, worse still, from starting down that hideous spiral into any form of mental health condition. Because if I hadn’t learnt these skills and techniques and managed to turn myself around again in the last week or so I hate to think where my thoughts might be heading today…

If any of this resonates with you, if you feel like you have lost your ability to believe in yourself or can see how your thoughts are steering you towards a life you don’t want to be living but don’t know how to break the cycle you find yourself in, then please do book a free call with me to discover how coaching could set you on the path to living the life you want to be living.